The Devil Went Down to Tomobiki
by Baron Hausenpheffer
Summary: If you can't figure this out by the title, the Prince of Darkness pays a visit to Tomobiki, and more specifically to its most unlucky resident... Read and review, purty please!


Disclaimer: I don't own Urusei Yatsura or "The Devil Went Down to Georgia". Those gems belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Charlie Daniels, respectively.

Author Note: This idea came to me while sawing down a tree in the hot sun (95 degrees Farenheit). Therefore, if it gets a little weird... just chalk it up to sunstroke. Hahaha!

* * *

The Devil went down to Tomobiki  
looking for a perverted soul to steal  
He needed a guy with a wandering eye  
that was full of lecherous zeal 

Then he saw a familiar face reading a book filled with girls that were hot  
He hopped right on top of his porno mag and said,  
"Ataru, let me tell you what!

It does me good to see a lad with a mind so dirty and vile  
So if you'd care to take a dare  
I can make it worth your while

You're pretty damned unlucky, kid, but give the devil his due  
I'll bet a harem of gold against your soul  
that I can make a bigger mess than you."

Now it just so happened that getting a harem was Ataru's lifelong dream  
He laughed and said, "You'll regret that bet!  
Devil, prepare to get creamed!"

Ataru, summon up your karma and spread that bad luck 'round  
The Devil's visiting Tomobiki and he plans to tear it down  
If you win, you will get a harem of your own  
But if you lose, the Devil gets your soul

The Devil dialed his cell phone and said, "Gimme one destruction kit!"  
Then three demonic bulldozers rose up from a fiery pit  
They slammed into the nearest building with a thunderous boom  
Cherry popped up and said, "This town is surely doomed."

(_The Devil's demonic demolition crew rampages through the city, sparing none in their path. Soon, a fourth of Tomobiki is completely destroyed._)

When he finally finished, Ataru said, "Not too shabby, old man!  
But watch and learn as you get burned; I'll do it as only I can."

(_A freakish grin on his face, Ataru begins dancing his way across town. Coincidence after remarkable coincidence occurs: telephone poles fall, gale-force winds ravage buildings, and lightning strikes everything that moves. However, that's nothing compared to the chaos that ensues when the regular cast of UY shows up..._)

Onsen-Mark is ticked; run, boys, run!  
Shinobu wants Mendo who is chasing Lum  
Holy crap! Here comes a UFO  
Ryu, are you a boy? "Hell if I know!"

(_From the central business district to the city limits, Tomobiki is nothing but a pile of ash. Ataru Moroboshi has managed to level it in a mere 5 minutes and 3 seconds._)

The Devil's jaw dropped to the ground once he saw that he'd been beat.  
He thought, "How did he do that by merely moving his hands and feet?"  
Ataru said, "Devil, just come on back if you want to make any more bets  
I warned you once, you horny red jerk, I'm as unlucky as it gets!"

Onsen-Mark is ticked; run, boys, run!  
Shinobu wants Mendo who is chasing Lum  
Holy crap! Here comes a UFO  
Ryu, are you a boy? "Hell if I know!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_Shinobu groggily opened her eyes to find herself in an unfamiliar room. It was covered from floor to ceiling with gold and was filled with lavish sofas and beds. It was then that Shinobu noticed that she was not alone. Sakura, Lum, Ryuunosuke, Ran, Oyuki, Benten, Kurama, and Ryoko were all present, wearing costumes straight out of "Arabian Nights". Shinobu nervously glanced down, only to find herself dressed in a similiar getup._

_"Hey, what's going on?" she demanded._

_"You're asking us?" Lum grumpily replied. "One moment I was floating after Darling to see why he was dancing, and the next I found myself here!"_

_"I hate to sound like my uncle," Sakura muttered, "but I sense impending doom..."_

_Just then, a large door swung open, revealing (guess who?) Ataru Moroboshi. He is decked out in Middle-Eastern clothes that would make Ali Baba jealous._

_"So, ladies... how is my harem doing today?" he chuckled maniacally._

_"YOUR WHAT?" they all screamed simulaneously._

_Benten reached for the light switch, everything went dark, and there was the sound of a struggle. When the lights finally came back on, they revealed Ataru twisted into a pretzel, with no girls in sight. The Devil pops up out of the floor, pointing and laughing at you-know-who._

_"I loathe you..." Ataru muttered._

THE END

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Well, that's enough of that nonsense. I really do love Urusei Yatsura, and I've been wanting to contribute a story to this section for a while now. I hope that my addition is a worthwhile one, but I'm pretty proud of it nonetheless. Anyway, enough of my yammering (I'm biased, after all)! Tell me what YOU think, with that handy-dandy review button below...


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